Is Fit Healthy? – When the Role Starts to Take More Than It Should
A note for CEOs and senior leaders
Leadership roles carry a particular kind of pressure. The expectations are constant, the visibility is high, and the demands do not ease. It is possible to continue performing, making decisions, and meeting obligations while something more personal is starting to slip.
Often, the shift is gradual. It does not present as a clear break. It builds over time, and it is easy to explain away.
What follows is a personal account of that experience.
I had worked with a bloke some years back, who had a psychology degree and who had said to me “Depression – show me a depression, if I can’t see it, then it doesn’t exist. It’s in your head.”
Years later I was to learn that yes, it is truly in your head, and that mental health is a real significantly debilitating condition😊.
I know; I suffered this condition that ‘no one can see’, yet, when we know what to look for, we all can see.
I like to consider myself a fairly fit person, I train multiple times a week and generally look after my body. I have played rep football, tennis, athletics, boxing and represented at an international level in knock down karate. Tough and fit if you like.
I worked crazy hours in my job, sacrificed much of my social and home time to accommodate whatever came up at work, and made sure I was available 100% of the time. There was a time I felt good about this – my devotion to my job.
Jobs don’t stay with you forever. Jobs will not see you are struggling – even if you don’t see it – and pull you aside and ask if you are OK. Jobs, come and go.
Family and those close to you don’t. They don’t come and go. They stick, they care, they talk.
I know this because it happened to me.
I struggle now as I write this blog for my new business venture, I struggle to calm my emotions as I re live aspects of that short time in my life. I don’t know if you are ever healed after such an injury – not like a broken finger when sparring or a torn hamstring when you are running. They heal.
I am healing though; through support from those I love around me, and a reset in my expectations of myself in terms of work. Doesn’t mean I will not do the hours necessary to be successful – far from it, as I don’t do failure. Rather, it means I will ensure my priorities are clear in my mind and that I communicate when I struggle.
We all struggle from time to time. If you don’t, you’re kidding yourself. I have learnt to talk more to those around me – you would be surprised how many people would not like to see you suffer, and are willing to do what it requires to help you. If they know and know what to look out for.
So, regardless how tough you are or how physically fit you are. Don’t neglect you. Talk about core strength, which I used to have a focus on – well, it’s not in your gut – it’s in your head. Train it as you would your body. Yin Yang in harmony. It involves simple stuff like having a check on your emotions, and when you feel down, talk to someone. Try meditating – with my long-standing martial arts background I used to do this a lot, and looking back, I actually stopped doing it for a while, and spent more time talking about it than actually doing it☹
De-cluttering your mind is a good thing and meditating is really easy and there is no right or wrong, so give it a go. Re-connect your mind to your heart.
Healthy is fit for life, not just looks.
Barry O.
Healthy is fit for life, not just looks.
Looking back, there were signs. Not obvious at the time, but clearer with distance.
What to watch for
These shifts are easy to rationalise while you are in them. They tend to build gradually rather than present all at once.
- Work patterns becoming unsustainable but feeling “normal”
- Reduced ability to switch off – constant mental carryover from work into home life
- Irritability or withdrawal from colleagues, elected members, or family
- Loss of perspective – everything feeling equally urgent or high stakes
- Physical signs – fatigue, poor sleep, changes in appetite or training routines
- Avoidance of conversations you would normally handle directly
When the pressure is no longer sustainable
There is a point where it moves beyond pressure and into something more difficult to manage.
- You are no longer recovering between periods of pressure
- Decision making becomes reactive rather than considered
- You start protecting the role at the expense of yourself
- Advice or concern from people around you becomes harder to hear – not because it is not there, but because your focus is fixed on what you believe needs to be done
- You feel an increasing sense of responsibility for everything and everyone, carrying more than you need to, and finding it difficult to step back
At this point, it is not always obvious from the inside. Focus can narrow, and how you feel can drop down the list of priorities.
Often, those around you can see it earlier. A single comment may not land. It may take repeated, direct conversations from people who are prepared to persist and not let their concern be dismissed.
These are not signs of weakness. They are indicators that something needs to change.
A final reflection
There is a discipline in how we approach our work. We plan, we respond, we adjust. Over time, that discipline becomes instinct.
It is less common to apply that same discipline to how we manage ourselves day to day.
The role will always ask more. That does not change. What can change is how we carry it, and how we recognise when it begins to take more than it should.
Strength is often measured in endurance. There is another form of strength in knowing when to step back, to recalibrate, and to stay connected to what matters beyond the role.
The work continues. So do you.
Healthy is not just about keeping up. It is about being able to keep going in a way that holds together over time.
